#361 Why Men Armor Up | Daniel Ellenberg
You don’t have to look far to find examples of men behaving badly. This isn’t a show
about male bashing, though. Today we’re going to take a deep dive into the male operating system and how it can be upgraded.
Daniel Ellenberg is a psychotherapist, marriage and relationship therapist, author, and facilitator. He has been leading men’s groups for over 30 years and is the new sitting president of APA’s (American Psychological Association) “Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men & Masculinities”.
In this conversation, we talk about: what does masculinity even mean, what prevents men from forming bonds with other men, and how to be a good role model as a dad, friend, and fellow man.
We explore what he calls “traditional masculinity ideology” - which means no weakness, no vulnerability, and has been passed down for millennia. Then we look at why men die earlier than women, with higher rates of suicide, and the importance of self-compassion for men.
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Where to find Daniel Ellenberg online:
- Society For the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinities
- On The ManKind Project podcast - A Man’s Guide to Self-Compassion
- On The ManKind Project podcast - The 3 Keys For Courageous Conversations
Other Resources Mentioned:
- Letterkenny (TV show)
- Kristin Neff on TPH Live, April 2020
- Kristin Neff on the TPH Podcast, December 2020 - Kryptonite for the Inner-Critic
- Kristin Neff on the TPH Podcast, June 2021
- Chris Germer, on the TPH Podcast
- The Mindful Self-Compassion Program
- Daniel Wegner, Ironic Processes
- Steve Hickman, Center for Mindful Self-Compassion
- Mary Oliver, poet
- Rick Hanson, on the TPH Podcast
- Zen Teacher Shunryu Suzuki Roshi
- Jennifer Siebel Newsom, The Mask You Live In
Special Resources for Men: